Parents as Partners:
at Church and at Home
It’s Time to Give Parents Back to Their Kids
At Faith Inkubators, our mission is simple:
Restore parents as the primary faith mentors for their children.
We believe the church should reinforce—not replace—the role of the family in spiritual formation. After all, the family has always been the original “faith inkubator.” The question isn’t if parents are teaching faith—it’s what kind of faith they’re teaching.
When a child gets $20 for a Saturday night movie and $2 for Sunday offering, that’s faith formation.
When parents say, “Just get through confirmation, then decide for yourself,” that’s faith formation.
The truth? What happens during the other 10,028 minutes of the week matters more than what happens in the 52 minutes at church.
Let’s Stop Doing the Same Thing and Expecting Different Results
Too often, churches have tried to do the work of faith formation without parents. That’s not only ineffective—it’s, well...insane.
Instead of saying “We’ve got this,” we should be saying:
“You’ve got this—because no one loves your child like you do.”
Parents:
Have daily access to their child
Would do anything to protect and care for them
Are uniquely positioned to nurture lasting faith
We aren’t asking parents to be Bible scholars. We’re inviting them to simply be present, engaged, and intentional.
Parents as Small Group Guides
We encourage you to recruit parents to serve as Small Group Guides. Why?
The Commitment: You will never find more committed people than parents. Most parents would die for their children without thinking twice. Even on a day when their kid is driving them crazy, they would literally jump in front of a speeding truck to save that child’s life. You can’t hire this kind of love and loyalty. If you want the most committed youth workers possible at your church, you have got to recruit parents. Nobody else loves like that.
The Gift: If teens come to see their own parents as caring, approachable, fun, and committed, you have given the family a gift. People who grow up in a close relationship with their own parents will naturally desire to repeat the process with their own children. In this way, parents who commit to serving as Guides will be giving gifts to their grandchildren. The gift will repeat itself. That’s a true gift!
In your Head to the Heart (H2H) Confirmation Leader’s Toolbox, you’ll find a great parent recruitment program (PowerPoint presentation and handout) called “Haystack Theory.” This is a great presentation that helps parents come to the conclusion that they need to step up and be a part of the program, but makes them think it was their idea! This tool will help you present to parents the idea that an “impact adult” is a vital part of the lives of youth, and that being their child’s small group Guide is the best way to make that happen. Use it in the spring with parents whose children will enter confirmation in the fall. You can get all your Guide recruiting done before summer! (See the Haystack Theory presentation note pages in the PowerPoint file for complete instructions.)
More Great Ways to Involve Parents at Church
Parent Huddle: Some congregations have created special support groups for parents. Most parents drop their youth off for confirmation. Consider inviting all parents to attend the large group presentation of your Theme Events. When youth go to Small Group Time, non-Guide parents can gather as a Parent Group in the library, lounge, or pastor’s office to share highs and lows, a discussion, encouragement, and prayer. One Faith Inkubators member church in Michigan did this and when it came time for their children to be confirmed, they had bonded so tightly they didn’t want to break up. “Does this mean I can’t come to confirmation anymore?” remarked the parents. Note that you will find a Parent Group handout for each H2H theme lesson.
Impact Parenting Nights: On occasion, make it a difficult choice for parents to simply drop off their kids by offering Impact Parenting nights. Partner with the local school and see if you can host community sessions on practical topics like communication, stages of learning as kids grow, or mental health awareness. Practical topics like this may not get deep in to Bible topics, but they are great “come and see” opportunities to make your church a beacon of help and hope in your wider community.
Servant, Fellowship & Huddle Helpers: Don’t be afraid to require parents to sign up for specific duties that will make your program run like a well-oiled machine. As part of your enrollment process each year, ask each parent to sign up for one Servant or Fellowship Event, or to host one monthly Huddle. Establishing a personal relationship with all parents will make it easier for Small Group Guides to minister to the specific needs of youth in their groups. Having extra drivers, chaperones, and helpers at your “out of building” events will make things easier and safer. Parents who host Huddles will gain a better appreciation and understanding of what you are trying to accomplish in your program. When parents see the kind of care, energy, support, and fun your Dream Team has for kids, they may volunteer to help more often.
Involving Parents at Home: FAITH5 Home Huddles
Want to make a real impact? Equip families with nightly faith rituals.
Use the FAITH5 framework:
Share highs and lows
Read a verse of Scripture
Talk about how it connects to life
Pray for one another
Bless each other
Launch FAITH5 with a dessert-and-coffee night for parents. Unveil the vision using the recruitment tools provided in your Head to the Heart toolbox.
Kick off your year with a Family Covenant Service at the altar, where families commit to nightly FAITH5 together. Provide each family with the Letter of Call to keep the commitment going strong throughout the year.
The Bottom Line
Parents aren’t just welcome in your confirmation program—they’re essential.
When the church and family work in tandem, faith takes root, grows deeper, and lasts longer.
Let us help you empower parents to step into their God-given role—both at church and at home.
Need help recruiting or equipping parents? We’ve got the tools in the Recruiting Parents folder located within in your Head to the Heart resource materials.