Small Peer Groups for Students are an Essential Feature
The Small Group
A Head to the Heart small group is typically one adult Guide (preferably a parent), his or her child, and three to five of the child’s classmates. One or two senior high youth may serve as Junior Guides to assist the Guide, serve as a role model, and help bridge the age/culture gap between the Guide and the youth. During the large group presentation, Guides and Junior Guides sit with their groups to prevent discipline problems and experience the themes alongside youth. During small group time, Guides and Junior Guides share in personal care by leading discussion, and create projects to present to the large group.
Where Everybody Knows Your Name
Caring small groups are essential. In large group situations, introverted children are often lost in the crowd. Special needs children are also often left behind. Loud, obnoxious youth must act up all the more to get their attention needs met. Further, in many large group teaching situations, discipline is reactive. In a small group setting everybody knows your name. You are missed if you are absent. Accountability and respect are built into the system, making discipline proactive. Adults are encouraged to greet their groups at the door and call those missing to see if they are coming. The small group enters together. Guides sit in the midst of their small groups whenever they meet. They don’t stand in the back of the room with a cup of coffee.
Group Sizes
Thousands of churches have learned the hard way. The key to a successful small group is to make it small! Four to six youth is just right. Seven or more is simply too many for one Guide. Trust us on this one. We receive phone calls from churches who report their small groups “just aren’t working.” When we inquire the size of their small groups, invariably they are 10-12 kids each. That’s just asking for trouble.
FAQ’s about Small Groups
Q: Should small groups be gender specific?
A: Yes, but you be the judge. If your church is large enough to make it work, separating girls and boys can be optimal. One member church put it this way, “It’s nearly impossible to get the hormones to settle down when boys and girls are together.” However, you know your kids best
Q: Do I keep the groups together for more than one year?
A: Optimally, yes. Groups that bond together share deeper conversation. Adult Guides that stick with kids for the duration may become lifelong mentors.
Q: What if a group is not getting along?
A: Hmmm ...we wish there was a cut and dried answer for this one. The best answer is that you know your youth best, and can best determine if someone needs to be moved to another group. In our years of experience, conflict within a group will pass as youth mature. A few of tips for minimizing the chance of conflict:
Mix youth from different school social groups in your H2H small groups. Churches seem to experience the most drama in groups of girls who begin confirmation as great friends. During the tumultuous time of adolescence, friends come and go, so don’t cave in to pressure from youth that they “just have to be” in the same small group as “all my friends.”
Have each small group create a covenant at the beginning of each year. Guides should have a mental list of things that are necessary to list in the covenant (confidentiality, respect, cell phone use, kindness, etc.), and then involve the youth in coming up with the exact wording. Youth are much more apt to adhere to the covenant if it came from them.
Talk with your youth about how great it can be to have “church friends.” They don’t need to be best friends at school to care about and have fun with each other at church. Do set the expectation that they be kind and acknowledge one another at school, to avoid relationships at church becoming strained.