The Top Five Head to the Heart™ Confirmation Mistakes
In the many years that we have been real-world users of Head to the Heart (H2H) in our confirmation programs, we have developed a mental list of reasons that churches struggle in getting the most out of the H2H system. Occasionally we will meet someone who will say something like, “This is much better than what we used to do but it is not working as well as we had hoped. Are we doing something wrong?”
After asking a few questions we can usually pinpoint what was holding them back. After years of hearing the same thing, it is time to write about it and share our top five reasons that churches limit their success:
1. Group Size Too Large
The first and most common mistake is that small group size it too large. Seven or eight kids and an adult is on the large size for good group process and bonding. We recommend 6-8 total people at the most. We learned in WWII that a bomber squadron of 8 or less would die for each other and when it became nine or more, they wouldn’t. So, unless your confirmation program is better at managing group bonding than WWII soldiers, you may want to think twice about your group size.
2. Service Projects
Secondly, remember that service projects really bond groups together. Don’t skip these events. There is something wonderful about giving of yourself with a group that forms lasting bonds. Most often we hear of churches that don’t want to take time out from the weekly lesson to do service projects. Some churches have tried to get kids to do them on their own and keep track of service hours on a chart or neglect service all together. Repeatedly, our Guides tell us that the group service project they did and reflected upon was the turning point in their group. Faith Inkubators recommends that at least every other month that small groups engage in some sort of small group service opportunity.
3. Share Highs and Lows
Third on the list is that groups do not use the highs and lows and prayer in their groups. Kids need to talk, listen, and be listened to. This gives them a structured and familiar way to share in a group. We recommend that highs and lows are first shared one-on-one paired with another student in their group. It is much easier to share with one person than a whole group. It also enables half of your group to share all at once while being heard. This becomes the glue that bonds the group together. Do it every time your group gathers, even at small group service and fellowship events.
4. Huddles Are Important
Fourth on the list is skipping the Leader Huddle. This is the time once a month to bring your team together to pray, plan, train and celebrate. This should not be optional. You are asking a lot of your adults and they need to feel supported, equipped, and important. Your success will depend more on these people than on anything else. Try having the monthly huddle in a home or at a local restaurant so it feels less like one more meeting and more like a party with friends.
5. Give the Ministry Away
The fifth reason that limits success is the inability to give the ministry away to others. We strive for H2H to be a catalyst to get parents involved and connected. Yet because we do not know how, or we are scared, we do not involve parents and other volunteers in the ministry. If it is all left up to the pastor or the youth director, Head to the Heart will not be a movement—it will be a moment. Gather a team and begin praying and sharing with each other and create a system that produces real faith, not just within parents and team members but within the kids.