The Top Five Head to the Heart™ Confirmation Mistakes
After many years as real-world users of Head to the Heart (H2H) in our own confirmation programs, we have developed a short list of reasons churches struggle to get the most out of the system. Occasionally someone will say, "This is much better than what we used to do, but it's not working as well as we had hoped. Are we doing something wrong?"
A few questions usually pinpoints what is holding them back. After hearing the same patterns repeatedly, here are the top five reasons churches limit their own success.
1. Group Size Too Large
The most common mistake is that small groups are too large. Seven or eight kids and an adult is already on the large end for good group process and bonding. We recommend six to eight people total at the most. We learned from WWII research that a bomber crew of eight or fewer would die for each other. When the crew became nine or more, they wouldn't. Unless your confirmation program is better at managing group cohesion than a WWII flight crew, it's worth taking group size seriously.
2. Skipping Service Projects
Service projects genuinely bond groups together. Don't skip them. There is something that happens when people give of themselves alongside each other that no classroom discussion can replicate. Churches that pull kids out of weekly lessons for service often worry they are falling behind. They are not. Guides tell us repeatedly that the group service project was the turning point for their small group. Faith Inkubators recommends at least one small group service opportunity every other month. Assigning individual service hours on a chart is not the same thing.
3. Not Using Highs and Lows
Groups that skip highs and lows miss the glue that holds everything else together. Kids need to talk, to listen, and to feel heard. Highs and lows give them a structured and familiar way to do that. Start by pairing students one-on-one before opening it to the whole group. It is much easier to share with one person first, and it lets half the group share simultaneously. Use highs and lows every time the group gathers, including at service and fellowship events.
4. Skipping the Leader Huddle
The monthly Leader Huddle is not optional. You are asking a great deal of your adult leaders, and they need to feel supported, equipped, and valued. Pray, plan, train, and celebrate together. Try hosting the huddle in a home or at a local restaurant so it feels less like one more meeting and more like a gathering of friends. Your long-term success will depend more on these people than on anything else in the program.
5. Not Giving the Ministry Away
If the pastor or youth director carries the whole program, H2H will be a moment, not a movement. The goal is to build a team, draw in parents, and create a system that produces real faith across the whole community. We don't always know how, or we hold on out of habit or fear. But if it stays with one person, it stays small. Gather a team, start praying and sharing together, and build something bigger than any one leader.
Curious how Head to the Heart Confirmation is structured? Download a free sample at faithink.com.